Self-confident, assertive, lovable – that’s how we want our children, isn’t it?
How do you recognize a self-confident child?
A self-determined child says what he wants without being inconsiderate towards other people. In addition, it recognizes its own limits very clearly and knows when it needs help.
Is self-confidence essential?
To some extent, of course, it’s essential. Some crawl off and curiously want to explore the world, others feel more comfortable on mum’s lap. How a child develops, however, largely depends on the relationship with its parents. If it feels safe and secure, it will be developmentally healthy and become a self-confident person.
Studies show that self-confidence is crucial in order to be successful later on. Does that mean: the star of a clique has a good chance of success in life?
No, not necessarily. The star of a clique doesn’t have to be blessed with great self-confidence. On the contrary: it can be the silent outsider who is completely at home with his rough edges and who will go his own way.
What are the most important strategies we parents can use to build self-confidence in our children?
Praise, consolation, motivation, games. For this, it is necessary to focus on the strengths of your child instead of always making the weaknesses an issue. Children need confirmation, and they seek it first and foremost from their parents. You definitely don’t want to disappoint mom and dad because they are the most important people in their lives. Nothing strengthens a child more than the knowledge: “I am wonderful.” And no one can convey this feeling better than parents.
So give praise for what it takes?
No, children see right away if there is no real meaning behind praise. For example, those who constantly messed up during piano auditions in music school need consolation and encouraging words. If parents still praise performance, a child does not feel that they are being taken seriously.
But shouldn’t a child still have the feeling: “The way you are, you are just great”?
Of course, children need people in their immediate environment who stand behind them unconditionally and love them for who they are. But always conveying to them that they are just great would put children under enormous pressure. Because when they fail, they don’t just relate to a certain achievement, but to their entire person. Rather, it’s about children facing all challenges and not being afraid of failure. Confident children know that defeat is not a tragedy. So instead of constantly telling your child how intelligent they are, you should rather praise them for how well they have learned and are therefore proud.
Many experts recommend free play in nature. Because it helps children acquire self-confidence for their entire life. Because this is how they learn to assess themselves and their limits.
That is surely correct. But does a child have to fall off a seesaw to see that it hurts? Parents should certainly encourage and challenge their children to show them: You can do it! But it’s also their job to protect them. Allow them to play such games which encourage self-confidence and there is no fear. For example, positive affirmation cards are the best choice for the children. The children learn through fun with such cards. Affirmation cards printed with hand painting of animals and a great sentence to encourage the children.
In which phase of life do we parents have the greatest influence on the self-confidence of our children?
The first twelve years of life are all about who is braver, smarter, better, and stronger. Because in order to be able to assess themselves, children have to compare their knowledge and skills, their possessions, and their appearance with others. In this phase they learn exactly what others are reporting back to them: “You did a great job!” Or “You can’t do that.” Later they come to their own realistic assessment of strengths and weaknesses. Nevertheless, they need people in their immediate environment who always believe in their abilities. Only in this way will children later master major crises and challenges and be strong and resilient.