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With rising housing costs and an increasingly competitive job market, more and more young adults are choosing to live with roommates to save on housing expenses. In 2017, almost 79 million adults lived with roommates in their homes or apartment.

Learning how to find the right roommate can be a challenge — from cleaning habits and sleep schedules to personality traits and interests, there are a lot of factors to consider when searching for a good roommate. In this article, we will offer tips for finding a roommate to make your roommate search as smooth and safe as possible!

1. Give Yourself Plenty of Time To Find the Right Person

Sometimes last-minute living arrangements must be made, such as when your existing roommate obtains a job and needs to transfer soon, but you should attempt to give yourself as much notice as possible. This allows you to ask around and advertise for roommates, perform many interviews, and take your time making such an important decision. The amount of time you should set aside for the search will vary depending on where you live and what the rental market is like — finding a roommate in NYC will be different than in Chattanooga — but more time is generally better.

2. Figure Out What’s Important to You in a Living Situation

When figuring out how to find a roommate, keep in mind that one person’s ideal co-living companion is another’s nightmare. So before you even start the search, think about which factors matter most to you. Here are a few examples:

  • Have you been burned by a deadbeat roommate, making financial responsibility your top priority?
  • Are you a vegetarian who would rather avoid the smell of cooking meat?
  • Does a sink full of dishes really grind your gears?
  • Is finding a cat or dog lover a must because you have a pet?

Write down your top five non-negotiables, then another five attributes that would be great but aren’t deal breakers (they love to bake, sweet!), and keep the list handy when chatting with any contenders. Having a strong handle on what’s important to you will ensure that you don’t choose someone with a major incompatibility, and making a note of extra-nice elements can help you settle on the best fit if it comes down to a tie. Remember, you’re not just figuring out how to get a roommate but how to find a good roommate for you.

3. Use Social Media and Online Outreach to Your Advantage

Finally, there is a solid purpose to spend time on social networking. Finding a roommate online might be difficult, but there are numerous helpful services available if you know where to look. Facebook is an excellent resource for anyone looking for a roommate, and most towns have many groups dedicated to apartment and roommate searching. Another alternative is to send out a call in non-housing-specific groups that have a network of like-minded people. For example, you may try a college class website (ideal for finding a roommate in college), LGBTQ+-friendly clubs, your Nextdoor site, or a neighborhood association page.

Post in multiple groups, making sure to include the rent amount and pictures of the apartment (if you already have one), a little bit about yourself, and a few factors that are important to you. You can also message people directly who say they’re looking for a new place, or even make a status on your own Facebook page (or Instagram or X — formerly known as Twitter) to see if any friends know of someone who could be a potential roommate for you.

Facebook, in particular, is convenient because you have the advantage of finding mutual friends and can learn a bit about potential roommates by poking around their profiles. While Reddit and Craigslist use a more anonymous format for initial pre-screening, they cast a wide net and can also be helpful sites for connecting with potential roomies. (Craigslist roommates may seem risky, but it’s just another way of finding a roommate, and it can be a great place to search.)

Some sites and apps specialize in helping people find roommates. While they may charge a small fee, some offer extra services for helping you vet potential matches. Established roommate finder sites to try include:

  • Roommates.com
  • Roomster
  • Roomi

Whatever method you use, remember to take precautions with anyone you’ve met online. Arrange your first meeting in a public place where you feel safe, and consider bringing a friend with you — always important steps for how to find a roommate safely.

4. Ask Friends and Colleagues

You should always use your own social circles, both offline and online. Let your pals know you’re looking for a roommate and ask if they know anyone who is looking or will be moving soon. Even if no one comes to mind immediately, they can keep an ear to the ground and ask around for you. Churches can be a terrific way to meet possible roommates.

Read Also: The Benefits of Renting a Short-term Rental Property

Asking your coworkers is also a good idea, especially if you’re looking for a roommate in your 30s. Many larger organizations provide intranets or digital bulletin boards where you can spread the word to a larger audience. Not only is word of mouth an excellent organic approach to find a roommate, but if you meet someone through a friend, you’ll already have something in common! Putting the ask out to folks you already know is an important strategy for finding a decent roommate.

5. Get the Finances in Order.

Renting an apartment with someone else means you’re jointly responsible for paying a substantial fee to the property owner each month — so you want to make sure any money questions are settled ahead of time. Important steps to cover include:

  • Asking for income and employment information — how long have they worked for their current employer?
  • Deciding whose name will be on the lease and how you’ll handle rent payments.
  • Requesting a credit check if they’re not on the lease.
  • Determining how much each of you will pay toward rent. In many cases, an equal split makes sense, but factors such as square footage, direct access to a bathroom, a window with a view, or a walk-in closet could call for adjustments.
  • Figuring out how you’ll divvy up utilities such as internet and electricity, as well as any other potentially shared expenses, like groceries.
  • Setting up autopays whenever possible to go directly to your landlord, utilities, or you, if you’re the one who is making the payments.

It’s also important to talk about how everyone living in the apartment would secure funds to pay the rent if they were to lose their jobs. Even if you pay your part of rent and your roommate doesn’t, you’ll both be on the hook for meeting the full payment. You should also establish a mutual agreement about what happens if one of you needs to move out before the lease is up. For example, if one person is planning a move, they should give as much heads up as possible, and maybe they agree to continue paying rent on the room until an acceptable replacement roommate is found.

6. Ask Good Questions 

If a talk with a potential roommate feels similar to a job interview, you’re doing it well. In addition to the financial issues we discussed before, don’t be hesitant to inquire about their lifestyle and habits. It’s better to find out now than later, and they’re probably wondering the same things about you. Oh, they’re in a band and hold practices twice a week? That’s good to know! They’re going to law school and require complete privacy. Duly noticed.

Jumping directly into questions about personal habits (what time of day do you prefer to shower?) may appear strangely intimate, but watching and working around those patterns is part of living with someone. And, like a job interview, the conversation should be two-way. Make an effort to truly listen to their responses and answer their inquiries as honestly as possible. You should be more concerned with ensuring that you are a good match for each other than with winning them over.

Here Are Some Good Questions To Ask Potential Roommates:

  • Why are you looking for a new roommate?
  • What did you like and dislike about your last living situation?
  • What are the five most important qualities you’re looking for in a roommate?
  • Can you commit to a yearlong lease? Or, how long do you anticipate living here?
  • What’s your daily work schedule like?
  • Can you tell me about your cleaning habits?
  • How often do you cook?
  • When do you generally get up and go to bed?
  • Do you prefer to shower in the morning or at night?
  • How much time do you spend at home on average?
  • What are your hobbies?
  • How do you like to spend your weekends?
  • How often do you tend to have visitors over? (If their significant other practically lives with them or they have big dinner parties most weekends, that’s good to know.) 
  • How social do you like to be with your roommates?
  • Do you smoke? 
  • Do you have pets, or allergies to pets?
  • Do you have any dietary restrictions I should be aware of?
  • Do you have any accessibility concerns? 
  • Can you provide references?

7. In a Post-Pandemic World, Ask Even More Questions

If you work from home, choosing the right roommate becomes even more vital. You’ll spend a lot of time at home, and living with someone you don’t get along with will make you want to go back to work. To make sure you’re on the same page, ask a few additional questions, such as:

  • Do you work from home? If so, how many days a week? This will help you prepare the logistics of setting up work-from-home spaces.
  • How strong of an internet connection do you need? If you both spend a lot of time on video calls, investing in a stronger connection may save you from spotty connections and a million “Can you repeat thats?”
  • How quiet do you need the home during work hours? Include a follow-up question asking when they take calls. If you both have a weekly scrum on Monday mornings, you’ll want to arrange to take them in different rooms.
  • When do you usually take lunch? If you make lunch each day, consider if you will be cooking for two or not.
  • How much space do you need to get your job done? Consider your home’s layout. Will you be working in the same room? Or will you each have a dedicated area separate from each other?

8. Spend Some Time Together Before Deciding

In a way, finding a roommate is a little like dating. You want to get a sense of the other person before committing to anything serious. You may be seeing more of a potential roommate than a significant other, after all. 

In all the hustle of figuring out how to find a roommate, make sure to reserve some time together before signing a lease. Arrange a few hang-outs at a neutral location, so you can see how they are in a public situation and if you two get along as people. You don’t need to be best friends, but you’ll want to be on the lookout for some basic traits, like their sense of humor, hobbies, and interests.

9. Decide on All the Logistics Before Moving in Together.

Once you find someone you can see yourself living with, it’s tempting to breathe a sigh of relief and wait until moving day to cover more details. But for peace of mind and the smoothest possible transition, you’d do well to work out a few mundane details ahead of time. Here are a few questions to answer together prior to move-in day:

  • Furnishing the Apartment

What do you have room for, and do either of you already have some furniture to bring? If one of you is already living in the apartment, should you do some decluttering to make room?

  • Utilities

Whose name will the bills be in? Will you split them 50/50? Or if one roommate has a TV in their room, or someone needs super-fast Wi-Fi for working from home, will you decide on a proportional division?

  • The Room

Who’s taking which room? And if the rooms aren’t identical, will each pay an adjusted rent for the size?

  • Insurance

Renters insurance is a good idea whether or not you have a roommate. Talk to your agent about how to share a policy or if you should get your own.

  • Furnishing the apartment: What do you have room for, and do either of you already have some furniture to bring? If one of you is already living in the apartment, should you do some decluttering to make room?
  • Utilities: Whose name with the bills be in? Will you split them 50/50? Or, if one roommate has a TV in their room, or someone needs super-fast Wi-Fi for working from home, will you decide on a proportional division?
  • The room: Who’s taking which room? And if the rooms aren’t identical, will each pay an adjusted rent for the size?
  • Insurance: Renters insurance is a good idea whether or not you have a roommate. Talk to your agent about how to share a policy or if you should get your own.

Now that you have the tools you need to properly select a roommate who is both reliable and compatible, you can begin your search. Even if there are a few bumps on the road, you’ll know you’ve started out on the right foot and can work through them together.

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